Sexuality & Gender
Some people like women, some like men, some like both, and some don’t like any. Some people like gender neutral or gender fluid people, and some people don't know who they like.
As human beings we have sexual feelings toward other people, it is completely normal.
Some people like women, some like men, some like both, and some don’t like any. Some people like gender neutral or gender fluid people, and some people don't know who they like.
There is no reason to why you feel the way you feel. There is nothing wrong or weird about your feelings. Don’t put pressure on yourself to work it out, just be. You might want a label for your identity or you might not, the choice is yours. No-one can tell you ‘what you are’ because your sexuality is self -identified, if you say you’re gay, that’s how you identify and if you’re not ready to say your bisexual or pansexual you don’t have to.
One of two It Gets Better films made by LGBT Youth Scotland and Lucy Ball, as part of our three year National Coming Out Project, funded by the Big Lottery.
If you think, feel or ‘just know’ that you aren’t straight that’s absolutely fine! If this is how you feel now, that’s fine, you might continue to feel this way, or you might change and that’s absolutely fine too!
So why worry?
At the moment we live in a society where everyone presumes you are straight or thinks that being straight is 'normal'. This is called ‘heteronormativity’ (a big word for a big problem!).
So, if you don’t feel ‘straight’ you might worry about expressing your sexual feelings – especially if you know people who are ‘homophobic’. This can cause you to feel unaccepted, unloved, or just plain weird – none of which are okay. If this is how you feel you might benefit from meeting or talking to other people who are similar to you, or to an adult that you trust.
HSIS Youth Workers in your school can help, or you could join a group like New Horizons in Wallasey that is a social and support group for LGBTQ+ young people. Get in touch to join or to find more information about New Horizons.
The Proud Trust is also an excellent source for more information.
Gender
What is it?
Our gender is one of the ways we express ourselves in the world. Our bodies our ‘sex specific’ - male, female or intersex (where someone is born wit a mixture of female and male reproductive organs).
We are born with a physical body which is either female, male or sometimes a mixture of both.
Video from It Takes Courage
Even if you're familiar with the LGBT+ Alphabet, you may still have some questions about gender and gender identity, so today we're here to tackle terms like trans, non-binary, and many more!
The way we are brought up is usually as a ‘girl’ or a ‘boy’ (although these socially constructed identities are not as strict as they used to be).
Female brains and male brains do the same things but as a general rule work slightly differently. Neither is better than the other.
Sometimes a baby may be born with both female and male physiology - ‘intersex’. The child’s parents will usually decide how they want to bring them up with regard to their outer gender identity.
Our gender identity is about the way we present ourselves in the world. For the majority of people this means they fit into the ‘binary’ system of ‘male’ (masculine) or ‘female’ (feminine).
The way these two gender identities are expressed depends on what your culture’s expectations are of that gender.
Sometimes people feel their gender identity is the opposite to the body they were born into. If you don’t understand this it probably means you don’t feel like that.
Why does gender identity matter?
Your gender identity may not be something you ever think about.
Your gender might not be important to you; you may be comfortable just being yourself and not feel the need to question the way your gender is viewed by others, or how you feel about it yourself.
But, some people have a very strong sense of unease about their gender. It may be that they feel more comfortable socialising with the opposite sex, may feel jealous that the opposite sex has a penis/breasts/ vagina. They may hate their own bodies, resulting in lots of negative ways of coping with their feelings. These people may need to talk about the possibility of being ‘gender dysphoric’.
Or, some people just don’t like the way society says they are ‘meant to be’ - girly or masculine (pink or blue)
This does not mean they are transgendered or experiencing gender dysmorphia, they just don’t feel they fit into society’s expectations of their gender.
As teenagers you have lots of hormonal changes going on causing growth spurts, mood swings, and sexual feelings.
LGBTQ: Understanding Sexual Orientation and Gender Identities is the latest educational video released by TEEN LINE in May 2015. Hear from several youth in Los Angeles, CA about their coming out process, support, and embracing their identities.
Gender expression is an important part of your developing self. It should not be confused with your sexuality because it is separate.
Who you fancy is who you fancy, whether you are female or male or intersex. It doesn't mean you have to worry about your gender identity.
If you have very strong feelings of dislike, rejection or disgust of your genitals (penis/vulva) or breasts and you have a sense that you are living in the ‘wrong’ body you may be experiencing something called gender dysphoria.
If you have worries, feelings or concerns about this please speak to a trusted adult as soon as you feel able to.
Further Support
Health Services in Schools Youth Workers
HSIS Youth Workers are a team of professionally qualified youth workers. The team currently work in Wirral Secondary Schools, Wirral Six Form and Wirral Met College
Each school/college has a designated HSIS Youth Worker that provides young people with an opportunity to access confidential support on any issues which may be affecting them.
We provide support to young people around Building Resilience, Reducing risks, Relationships, Sexual Health (including issuing condoms in some schools) Drugs, Alcohol, Emotional Health and Well-Being, Stress and Anxiety.
To get support in school/ college contact your school pastoral lead of head of year.
Download a copy of our latest timetable
Brook
This service is offered to young people under 20.
We are an appointment only clinic. Same day appointments can be made via telephone or at reception during our opening times (pre-appointment assessments may be necessary).
Call 0151 670 0177 to make an appointment or for any enquiries.
Opening hours are:
Monday – Thursday: 3pm until 6pm
Friday: 3pm until 5.30pm
Saturday: 1pm until 3.30pm
14 Whetstone Lane, Birkenhead, Merseyside, CH41 2QR
Website: http://www.brook.org.uk
Please be aware that we do not offer the coil/IUD or IUS and implant services may not be available on the same day.
New Horizons
New Horizons in Wallasey is a social and support group for LGBTQ+ young people. Get in touch to join or to find more information about New Horizons.
Sexual Health Wirral - NHS
We are working hard to restore our services at this time and appreciate your patience and understanding. Our walk-in wait clinics remain suspended, but care and support is still available - find out more. Telephone assessment line open 8.00am - 5.00pm (Mon - Fri): 0300 123 5474.
Community support
Telephone: 0300 123 5474
Let's Work It Out @ The HIVE
LGBTQ+ support group for 13-19 years (up to 25 with additional needs.)
Held at the Hive, for more details please call : 0151 705 8000
If you need help, support or guidance please get in touch:
Email: talktothehive@thehiveyouthzone.org or send us a private message on our Facebook page.
Wirral Youth Zone, named by young people as ‘The Hive’, is a purpose-built facility for young people aged 8 – 19, and up to 25 for those with disabilities. Young people from across Wirral have access to fantastic facilities for a cost of £5 for an annual membership and 50p per visit. The Youth Zone provides a safe environment where young people can come and enjoy themselves and enables young people to raise their aspirations and confidence to create a happier and healthier generation.
SHOUT
Shout is an affiliate of Crisis Text Line® in the UK that provides free, confidential support, 24/7 via text. It’s the first free 24/7 texting service in the UK for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. Shout is available in England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland
Text SHOUT to 85258 in the UK to text with a trained Crisis Volunteer
or
Text BLUE to 85258 to get resources and sign posting information.
Every texter is connected with a real-life human being trained to bring people from a hot moment to a cool calm place through active listening and collaborative problem-solving. All of our Crisis Volunteers donate their time to helping people in crisis.
LGBT Foundation
Our helpline, as always, will continue to be there for all LGBT people in need. For 45 years our helpline has been a lifeline to hundreds of thousands of people. If you are feeling worried, isolated or alone, know that you can pick up the phone and reach out to us on 0345 3 30 30 30.
We believe in a fair and equal society where all lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans people can achieve their full potential. Our work is as vital and urgent as ever. LGBT people still face persecution, discrimination and stark health inequalities. Through our services we reduce isolation amongst our communities, help people feel more confident and in control of their lives, and enable people to flourish. Every year we give a voice, provide help and offer hope to 40,000 people. We work in partnership with others to build strong, cohesive and influential LGBT communities and promote attitude change in society, reaching 600,000 people online each year.
The Proud Trust
The Proud Trust are an organisation that is run by and for people who identify as LGBTQ+ they offer excellent resources, support and training.
https://www.theproudtrust.org/
Mermaids UK
Mermaids supports gender-diverse children and young people until their 20th birthday, as well as their families and professionals involved in their care. Support includes parent and young person specific forums, a helpline and a group for young people and parents to attend (once registered)
Stonewall
Stonewall is a national organisation supporting LGBTQ+ rights and fights inequalities. They have a glossary of terms, but young people know themselves best and it is always good to have a conversation with them if you are unsure how they identify or what it means to them.
https://www.stonewall.org.uk/help-advice/glossary-terms