Relationships

All good relationships are based on respect, trust, and communication. It does not matter who the relationship is with.

 

Most people have more than one romantic relationships during their life and going out with different people helps you to find what you want from a relationship.

The most important thing, if you choose to be in a relationship with someone is that it should always be a positive experience. It won’t always be perfect as everyone’s relationships go through ups and downs.

So long as you are in a relationship built on respect, trust, communication, and they help you to feel good about yourself then your good to go.

Always remember that it is ok to end a relationship for any time and for any reason.

LET’S TALK ABOUT CONSENT

What does it mean?

You might have heard the word ‘consent’, it means things like ’yes’, I give my permission’, ‘I agree’, and ‘I want to’. You need to understand what consent is, how to give it, and how to hear someone when they give consent.

This is especially important when it comes to being in a sexual relationship with someone. Having a girlfriend/ boyfriend/ partner should be exciting and positive.

Advice for young people:

  • To help build good relationships trust and respect are both crucial.

  • If your partner says no to anything you do, (or want to do) you need to hear them, believe them, accept it, and respect their decision.

  • Even if someone says yes, they are ready to do something (like kissing or having sex) and then when the time comes, they do not want to, and they say so they are not consenting.

  • If someone has used too much alcohol or drugs, they are not legally able to consent.

  • If you think the other person might not be able to remember the next day, they cannot consent.

  • You might be angry or disappointed that they have changed their mind - but if you do not stop you are breaking the law and potentially wrecking your relationship.

  • If you are not sure, check If they say no, stop, if they do not want to, then don’t

  • Check in with your partner, how do they feel?

  • Are they happy, having fun, having a nice time?

  • Do they seem worried, nervous, or uncomfortable?

  • Are you happy, worried, nervous, or uncomfortable?

  • If you are not ok why are you doing it?

  • Do you both want to do it?

Video by Thames Valley Police

Teen Dating Abuse

 

Domestic abuse is not limited to adults; there is an increasing awareness of domestic violence within teen relationships.

  • 1 in 5 teenage girls have been assaulted by a boyfriend.

  • Young women are more likely to experience sexual violence then other age groups.

  • Young women with older partners are at increased risk of victimisation.

  • Recent surveys (including NSPCC, Zero Tolerance and End Violence Against Women campaign) reveal that approximately 40% of our young people are already being subjected to relationship abuse in their teenage years.

    Six signs you are in a toxic relationship - BBC Bitesize

Domestic Abuse

 

Domestic abuse is any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.

Domestic abuse isn't just physical; it can be psychological, sexual, emotional or even financial and can include:

  • Being forced or pressured to do things

  • Being frightened to say 'no' or to have an opinion

  • Feeling like 'walking on eggshells' all the time

  • Being watched and checked up on

  • Having freedom unreasonably restricted

  • Being stopped from seeing family and friends

  • Limited or no access to money and other resources

  • Forced marriage

  • Violence, including so-called ‘honour-based’ violence

  • Female Genital Mutilation

  • Sexual abuse

  • Being threatened and threats made to family, pets and/or possessions

  • Being made to feel too weak or frightened to fight back or leave

  • Destructive criticism

  • Disrespect and breaking trust

  • Isolation

  • Harassment

Anyone can be abused, no matter where they live or how much money they have.

It can affect anyone, regardless of race, age, class, gender, religion or sexuality. It happens in all kinds of relationships: heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender.

Domestic abuse is not the victim’s fault. Help is available for victims & survivors and for perpetrators.

Reporting Domestic Abuse

 

There are many ways domestic abuse can be reported - whether by a victim themselves or a friend or relative of someone who is experiencing an abusive situation.

The most important thing is to tell someone - a friend, relative, colleague, support service or agency.

SEXUAL HEALTH

Contraception

 

Contraception refers to the methods that are used to prevent pregnancy. Some methods of contraception (condoms) can also be used to prevent some sexually transmitted infections (STI’s).

For a detailed help and advice on contraception methods visit brook.org.uk

Emergency Contraception

 

There is also a type of contraception called ‘emergency contraception’ that can be used after unprotected sex or whereby you feel you may be at risk of becoming pregnant after having sex. There are two methods of emergency contraception.

Often people will call this the morning after pill. This can be misleading as you can actually take some types of emergency contraception pill up to five days after unprotected sex. If you had any concerns after having sex that you may need to get the pill always try to get it as soon as possible. It is recommended to not leave it for longer than 3 days.

For up to date information and advice on where to go to get emergency contraception near you please visit, Sexual Health Wirral.

STI’s Signs and Symptoms

 

STI's are bacterial or viral infections that can be passed on through unprotected sexual contact. STI’s do not always have noticeable symptoms so after having unprotected sex, it can be easy to be in denial and just hope you will be ok. But you should always get yourself tested as soon as possible so that you do not pass on anything or cause yourself any long-term harm. You may also need to consider emergency contraception to protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy.

For detailed information on the signs and symptoms of STI's visit Brook.org

To protect yourself from STI’s you need to use a condom or female condom every time you have sex. Condoms are the only method of contraception that protect against both pregnancy and STI’s. Even if you are using another method of contraception, like the pill, to protect against pregnancy, you should still use a condom as well.

It is common to feel nervous at the thought of getting tested but do not worry, most infections are easily treated and services such a Brook are confidential services.

Postal STI test kits are available from Sexual Health Wirral

For information on local clinic times visit Sexual Health Wirral

For detailed help and advice on STI's visit brook.org.uk

Condoms

 

Condoms protect you and your partner from unwanted pregnancy by stopping sperm coming into contact with the vagina which could lead to an egg being fertilised.

Condoms are 98% effective if used correctly.

LGBTQ+ and Gender

Help and advice

 

For informationa nd advice on LGBT+ and Gender related issues visit our sexuality and gender page

STAYING SAFE ONLINE

Think before you send

Relationships come and go all the time especially when you are young. Think if you are sexting with someone and you break up could you be sure that they would not share or post them publicly or online with other people?

  • Is the phone or computer you are sexting from completely secure or could other people gain access to it

  • If you meet someone online through social media or some other forum and they ask you to share sexual content with them, do you know for certain who they are or that they will not store or share those images?

  • Are you opening yourself up to potential future blackmail or bullying? If you send images, videos, or messages to someone could they use this against you in future?

  • By sharing sexual content online, you may also attract unwanted attention from other more dangerous people online. Sex offenders as an example are often experts when it comes to finding people will to share sexual content and are able to find these images and distribute them.

  • Are you breaking the law? It can feel like sexting is something everyone does and that it may even seem harmless at the time however receiving and or sending what could be considered as indecent images, videos, or messages of people under the age of 18 is illegal even if the person gave their permission. The law around this can be very severe and come with life changing consequences if found guilty.

  • Always think before you send anything online. Ask yourself would you be happy for all of your friends and family to see what you are about to send? Even if you know, care about, like, trust, and or are in a relationship with, things can change quickly and that could create some serious problems for you in the future.

Credit to - UK Safer Internet Centre Childnet International

 

Sexting

Sexing describes sending sexual photos and messages often through a mobile phone, but it also applies to photos and messages sent through email or live streaming platforms such as Twitch.

It is important to know that once you send, upload, or stream an image, video, or message you lose control of it. Everything you send could be saved or shared and often these images are then seen by friends, families, and even total strangers. It is very easy for people to take screenshots to capture those messages, videos, and images and these could potentially exist online forever.

Further Support

 

Health Services in Schools Youth Workers

HSIS Youth Workers are a team of professionally qualified youth workers. The team currently work in Wirral Secondary Schools, Wirral Six Form and Wirral Met College


Each school/college has a designated HSIS Youth Worker that provides young people with an opportunity to access confidential support on any issues which may be affecting them.

We provide support to young people around Building Resilience, Reducing risks, Relationships, Sexual Health (including issuing condoms in some schools) Drugs, Alcohol, Emotional Health and Well-Being, Stress and Anxiety.

To get support in school/ college contact your school pastoral lead of head of year.

Download a copy of our latest timetable


Brook

This service is offered to young people under 20.

We are an appointment only clinic. Same day appointments can be made via telephone or at reception during our opening times (pre-appointment assessments may be necessary).

Call 0151 670 0177 to make an appointment or for any enquiries.

Opening hours are:

Monday – Thursday: 3pm until 6pm

Friday: 3pm until 5.30pm

Saturday: 1pm until 3.30pm

14 Whetstone Lane, Birkenhead, Merseyside, CH41 2QR

Website: http://www.brook.org.uk

Please be aware that we do not offer the coil/IUD or IUS and implant services may not be available on the same day.

 


Sexual Health Wirral - NHS

We are working hard to restore our services at this time and appreciate your patience and understanding. Our walk-in wait clinics remain suspended, but care and support is still available - find out more. Telephone assessment line open 8.00am - 5.00pm (Mon - Fri): 0300 123 5474.

Community support

Telephone: 0300 123 5474

Sexual Health Wirral Website



School Nursing (Wirral)

Wirral School Nursing Service provides support for a seamless transition from health visitors to school nurses. It’s led by specialist public health nurses, qualified nurses and screeners.

What we do

Our service supports children and young people aged 5 – 19 in primary and secondary schools and home educated children, as well as their families and carers. Support is also provided to schools and alternative education providers – every school has a named school nurse. 

Our team works in partnership with schools and other professionals to keep children healthy, happy and safe. They promote health and wellbeing, as well as offering the childhood immunisation and vaccination programme.

Our school nurse service works in partnership with Barnardo’s and Brook. We also work in collaboration with the Local Authority, schools, GPs youth services and many other community services to support the needs of children, young people and their families. 

The service is confidential, non-judgmental and inclusive and treats all children and young people with dignity, respecting gender, sexual orientation, age, physical or mental health abilities, religion, culture, social background and lifestyle choices.

School nurses work across four teams and can be contacted on 0151 514 0219:

  • Birkenhead

  • Wallasey

  • West Wirral

  • South Wirral


RASA Merseyside

RASA Merseyside is a professional counselling and support service that exists solely to improve the mental and physical well-being of individuals impacted by sexual violence at some point in their lives. Helpline support: 0151 666 1392 Tues 6-8pm, Thurs 6-8pm, Fri 12-2pm Birkenhead 0151 650 0155 Hoylake 0151 633 2151

Community support

Telephone: 0151 666 1392

Email: rasa@rasamerseyside.org

Read more about RASA Merseyside



CEOP (Child Exploitation and Online Protection)


CEOP is a law enforcement agency and is here to help keep children and young people safe from sexual abuse and grooming online. We help thousands of children and young people every year who have been in a similar situation to you. CEOP are unable to respond to reports about bullying, fake accounts or account hacking.

We are here to help and give you advice, and you can make a report directly to us if something has happened online which has made you feel unsafe, scared or worried. This might be from someone you know in real life, or someone you have only ever met online.

If you make a report to us about sexual abuse or grooming online it will be read by one of our Child Protection Advisors who will get in contact with you on the phone number or email address that you give to us to make sure that you are safe.  They will also discuss with you what will happen next. Please try not to worry, you have done nothing wrong and we will do all we can to help you.

We work together with lots of other professionals whose jobs are also to make sure you are safe, this includes other police agencies.  If a crime has been committed we will work together and use our specialist skills to identify the person or people responsible and bring them into the criminal justice system.

The CEOP Thinkuknow website also has information and advice to help you to stay safe if something has happened to you online.

CEOP are unable to respond to reports about bullying but if you are being bullied and would like to talk to someone in confidence right now you can call Childline on 0800 1111 or talk to them online - no worry is too big or too small. Please also tell an adult that you trust, like a parent/carer or teacher.

Who are CEOP Child Protection Advisors?

A CEOP Child Protection Advisor is someone who:

  • Will try to help you

  • Will listen to what you have to say

  • Will not be shocked by what you tell them

  • Will be honest with you

  • Will not judge or blame you

  • Will make decisions jointly with you wherever possible

  • Will work with other professionals to keep you safe

  • Will talk to your parents/carers for you, if you want them to, to explain what has happened


SHOUT

Shout is an affiliate of Crisis Text Line® in the UK that provides free, confidential support, 24/7 via text. It’s the first free 24/7 texting service in the UK for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. Shout is available in England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland

 

Text SHOUT to 85258 in the UK to text with a trained Crisis Volunteer

or

Text BLUE to 85258 to get resources and sign posting information.

 

Every texter is connected with a real-life human being trained to bring people from a hot moment to a cool calm place through active listening and collaborative problem-solving. All of our Crisis Volunteers donate their time to helping people in crisis.