Communication & Social Skills

Lots of young people struggle with the same issues, even if it doesn’t look like it on the outside:

• Not knowing what to say in conversations

• Feeling shy or awkward in groups

• Worrying about being judged

• Overthinking what you’ve said

• Finding it hard to start or maintain friendships

• Struggling to stand up for yourself

• Feeling left out or ignored

• Difficulty expressing feelings

• Not knowing how to disagree respectfully

If any of these sound familiar, you’re definitely not alone.

Here are simple ways to improve how you communicate:

✅ 1. Listen as much as you speak

Good communication starts with listening — paying attention to the other person, not thinking about what to say next.

✅ 2. Use “I” statements

Instead of “You never listen,” try “I feel unheard when…”
It helps people understand your feelings instead of feeling attacked.

✅ 3. Ask open questions

Instead of “Are you okay?”, try:
“Do you want to talk about what happened?”
It encourages more honest conversations.

✅ 4. Be aware of tone & body language

Your posture, face, and tone can say more than your words.

✅ 5. Take your time

It’s okay to pause, think, and take breaks during tough conversations.

Social confidence doesn’t happen overnight. Try:

✅ Small Steps

Say hello to someone new, ask someone how they are, or sit with a new group in class.

✅ Positive Self‑Talk

“People like talking to me.”
“I don’t need to be perfect.”
“I can try again tomorrow.”

✅ Practice in Safe Places

Start with friends you trust, youth workers, or people who make you feel comfortable.

✅ Get Involved

Joining clubs, groups, volunteering, or ZILLO projects helps you meet new people and build confidence.

Good friendships require effort from both sides.

✅ Be Honest

Say how you feel without blaming or attacking.

✅ Respect Boundaries

Everyone needs space at times — including you.

✅ Apologise When Needed

Owning your mistakes builds trust.

✅ Let Others Speak

Make sure conversations aren’t one‑sided.

✅ Celebrate Each Other

Support your friends’ successes — not just their struggles.

Arguments happen in every relationship — it’s how you deal with them that matters.

✅ Stay calm

Take a breath before responding.

✅ Listen fully

Hear what the other person is saying before reacting.

✅ Avoid insults

Stick to the issue, not the person.

✅ Take a break

If things get heated, step away and return later.

✅ Agree to disagree

You don’t have to share the same opinion to respect each other.

Unhealthy communication looks like:

• Constant criticism

• Being ignored on purpose

• Guilt‑tripping

• Name‑calling

• Manipulation

• One‑sided conversations

• Pressure to share personal details

• Silent treatment

• Feeling afraid to speak up

If communication with someone consistently makes you feel small, anxious, or unsafe, it’s okay to create distance and talk to a trusted adult.

Talking online is different from talking face‑to‑face.

✅ Avoid responding when angry

Messages written in anger often cause more harm.

✅ Don’t assume tone

Texts can be easily misunderstood.

✅ Keep private info private

Not everyone online has good intentions.

✅ Ask before sharing someone’s photo

Respecting privacy builds trust.

✅ Be kind

Your words can impact someone more than you realise.

Lots of young people feel awkward or anxious around others.
Support can help you:

• Understand your feelings

• Learn social skills at your pace

• Build confidence in safe settings

• Practise new ways of communicating

You can talk to:

• A teacher

• HSIS Youth Worker

• School counsellor

• Trusted friend

• Family member

There is nothing wrong with needing help — communication is a skill, not a talent.